Sofa Wars
by Pinstripes
Summary: A movie's on and Jam and Sol fight discretely over Ky. Lame summary... Slight Shounen ai and language


AA: A one-shot to work myself up to finishing all my other fanfics. XDD

**-Sofa Wars-**

"What's on?" Ky asked, peering over Sol's shoulder at the magazine.

"Crap." The answer was a grunted monosyllable, but Sol's cheeks were slowly turning a slight pink. Ky's chin was touching his neck. _Don't blush, Sol, dammit!_ He thought, _Don't blush, you look like a dork when you blush. Oh god, you just thought the word dork. You're doomed!_ "And a movie." He tried to distract himself by reading the title of the movie, "Also crap."

The knight grabbed the magazine, "Let me look." He scanned the page and put a finger on the movie, "It doesn't look so bad. Besides, there isn't anything else on."

"Which film is it?" Another voice entered the conversation, a female one. "Oooh, that one. Saw _that_ one ages ago." Jam nodded, prodding the magazine, draping the other arm gently over Ky's shoulder, "It's alright, just a little boring."

Sol felt a light twitch under his left eye. _Bitch. Get away from him. I got here first. _"Get lost." He scowled at her, folding his arms.

Jam narrowed her eyes at him for a moment but didn't say anything, _Bastard. You'd better not try anything._ "Ky, can I stay and watch too?"

Ky, who was wonderfully oblivious to the war fizzing away on either side of him, shrugged and stepped away from them, "If you want you can." He smiled, "Anyway, it's starting in a moment."

The Gear met the eyes of the cook. "Jam. You go get some popcorn."

"No, you can, I'm not even very hungry." She retaliated, standing her ground.

"I'll burn it. You go."

"So much for being good with fire."

"Shu-"

"Look, I'll go get it if neither of you two will." Ky interrupted, giving them both a withering look, "Honestly…" He muttered, disappearing into the kitchen.

Sol turned to look at Jam, "Take that fire jab back!" He snapped as soon as the door was shut.

Jam chose to ignore the last comment and sat down. "Do you really think you could get Ky to like you? He doesn't even swing that way."

Sol flushed crimson and tried to resist yanking her hair out by the fistfuls. "What makes _you_ think _you_ have a chance!" He answered vehemently, clenching his fists.

"For one thing I'm the right gender and for another, I'm far better looking then you." She answered matter-of-factly, switching on the TV. Sol's nails were digging into the palms of his hands.

"You wish, bi-"

He was interrupted for the second time by Ky wandering in with a bowl. "Just in time." He said brightly, sitting down next to Jam. Sol slumped down on the other side of him. Sitting in between Jam and Ky would be too obvious. _Don't get comfortable, Jam._ He mentally warned her, glaring behind Ky to make his point. Jam stuck out her tongue and rested her head on the knight's shoulder. _Don't get comfortable, Sol._

The credits ended and loud, atmospheric music boomed out of the speakers. He wasn't paying much attention though. He was still pondering over a way to show Jam up. _There's no way I'm going to let her win. I can't. _He tapped his knee in a little rhythm. A plan was slowly forming. He sat up, "Anyone thirsty?" He asked over the top of the hero's speech.

Ky nodded, "A drink would be nice. Just some water though."

Jam frowned at him with growing suspicion. "Yeah, sure. Same as Ky." _He's up to something._

"Great." Sol got up and walked into the kitchen. This was almost foolproof. He got out three glasses, one clear, one with a blue rim and one with a green rim. He poured water into the first, cola into the second and more water into the third. The man opened a cupboard, searching for something that would dissolve, but leave a nasty bite. Salt was his first choice and he emptied almost half the shaker into the glass with the green rim and stirred it thoroughly. _See how she likes that._ He collected the glasses and walked back in, "Here." He handed Ky the blue one and Jam the green and sat down, putting his own glass on the floor, waiting for the fun to start.

Jam studied the glass suspiciously. It seemed pretty normal.

_Drink, it, drink it, drink it._

She took a gulp and almost choked.

_Yes!_

But she swallowed it and drank the rest, putting the glass down when she was done. She hadn't made a sound and only looked a little paler. _Now for some payback._

Sol's face fell. It had been a cheap trick but he had been pretty sure of it. How could she drink the whole bloody glass! He picked up his drink and went back to thinking up another plan. He took a sip. Pain shot through his tongue. "Crap!" He croaked, almost dropping the glass.

Ky stared at him looking alarmed, "Sol!"

"Ohshitohshitohshit…" He repeated, running into the kitchen, turned on the cold tap and took long drinks from it. A few minutes later he turned off the tap and wiped his mouth. He looked around to see Jam in the doorway, smiling triumphantly and holding up a small bottle of something. "You bitch!" He managed, staring at her in shock. His mouth was still on fire.

"Chilli sauce. I always carry some just in case one of my customers fancies something a little spicier. Too hot for you?" She giggled, "I was right. So much for the whole fire gig, hmm?" The cook turned as if to leave, then glanced back at him, "Don't try anything like that again, I can beat you easily." And with that little threat she walked out, tucking the bottle away in her pocket.

She was feeling pretty pleased with herself and hooked her arm around Ky's. He didn't appear to notice once again. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine, don't worry about it." She lay her head against his shoulder.

Sol re-entered silently, sitting down again. He had a tall glass of freezing water with ice cubes in it. Jam couldn't help a smirk. He looked a little sulky, staring blankly at the screen, knees drawn up to his chest. She moved away from Ky a little and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He blinked at her for a moment, and then returned to watching the movie, looking a little nervous.

Sol put his arm around Ky's shoulder, taking Jam's hand tightly. _Don't mess with me. _He bent the fingers right back until he heard a satisfying click. Jam shrieked, recoiling and waving her injured hand around like a maniac. Ky lurched back, looking surprised as well as nervous, bumping into Sol's chest. "Jam!"

Sol placed a hand on his shoulder. "She's fine. Probably just hurt her hand"

Jam gave Sol a look that would make a lion retreat. "I'm okay." She hissed, sitting back down, arm safely around Ky's once more. "Let's just watch the film." She picked up a piece of popcorn and relaxed a little.

Sol put his arm fully around Ky's shoulders, hand resting lightly on his shoulder. Ky raised an eyebrow at him but didn't say anything.

About fifteen minutes passes peacefully. The film was finally getting to a good romance scene between the hero and heroine (Sol wasn't particularly impressed with the hero's attempts at wooing said heroine). Jam got up. _I'm going to win this war, Sol, like it or not._ "Back in a minute!" She chirped in a cheerful tone, grabbing her bag on the way into the bathroom. She just had to get Ky to kiss her. Sol would give up, they would get together, end of story. It was as simple as that. Really Sol couldn't do much more without making a total moron of himself. She switched on the light and fiddled around in her bag.

Her opponent was still sitting down. He looked at Ky and cleared his throat, "Er, Ky…?"

"Mm?" Ky answered vaguely.

"Can, I… Talk to you a minute?" He took the remote and turned down the volume. "I… Er…" He felt his confidence drift away. _Come on, Sol. You're alone with Ky and you can't even say anything without 'er'ing. Don't waste your chance…That witch'll be back in a minute and that'll be it. She has an advantage, being a woman, but Ky hasn't even mentioned his sexual preference! Just tell him! When Jam gets back it'll be too late…_ He could feel his cheeks going hot. Thank god the lights were out. "… Tell you in a minute." _Better yet…Eliminate the opposition. _"I'll be back in a minute."

He wandered up the stairs, being as quiet as possible. She couldn't hear him if he crept. The door of the bathroom was shut. It was a door that pushed outwards rather than inwards. He looked around for something to jam it shut. A door stop caught his eye. He wedged it under the gap in the door and got another one from one of the other doors and wedged it in there as well. They were pretty tightly stuck. Hopefully it would take her at least ten minutes to get them out.

He sauntered back downstairs. "Anyway." He felt better for that. "Ky… I really…" He sat down, looking the other right in the eyes. "I really… umm…"

"Yes?" Ky tilted his head to one side, smiling, "What is it?"

"Nothing." He put his arm around Ky's shoulders and pointed at the TV screen. "Movie's on."

-END-


End file.
